Thursday, August 27, 2009

"Zorgnak Stole My Lunch Money!"

My oatmeal is too watery. I put in too much milk. I usually don't put in much milk because I like my oatmeal like I like my women. WITH 100% WHEY PROTEIN OOOOH! (alternative punch-lines to that joke were "Thick," "With lots of brown sugar OOOH," and "Quakers.") I'm sitting in my brand new one-bedroom apartment. I'm at my desk/table. My desk/table is both a desk and a table, which is why I am typing this whilst eating some delicious, watery (or milky), Quaker-brand oatmeal. It is not an ideal piece of furniture because I'm sure that I'm going to get strawberry jelly all over my Physics homework.

What's that, you say? Physics? Homework? Yeah. I'm an undergrad again! Hooray. After months of not being able to find a job, I decided that it'd be best if I went back to school. As of yesterday, I am no longer Alfonso Zapata, unemployed Rice University English major. I am now Alfonso Zapata, Electrical Engineering student at the University of Texas at Austin! I have mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, I'll be able to find a job once I'm done. But on the OTHER, it's another two-three years as a miserable undergrad. But on the OTHER, I kinda like engineering. But on the OTHER, I stress out really easily when it comes to schoolwork if I have to actually try.

I got my school ID yesterday. I woke up extra early, took a nice, long shower, took a nice, long shave, tried to get my hair in order, and put on some semi-fancy clothes (i.e. jeans and a polo shirt). I always come out horrible in ID pictures and I was determined to look good for this one.

Success?

I look like a fat chipmunk!
And it almost came out worse! I didn't realize it until right before I got my ID picture taken, but I had been walking around with a cow lick for most of the day. I don't even know how that happened.

Want to know a secret?
Yesterday, when I was at the bookstore searching for books, I tripped and fell down the stairs. Then my backpack hit me on the head.
Way to look, cool, Fonz.

Want to know another secret?
Yesterday, I was chased by three bees and I started flapping my arms at them and everybody stared at me.
Smooth, Fonz, smooth.

I feel tiny. Everyone here is so tall. I'm like one of the shortest guys in all of my classes. Stupid Texas with their stupid big people.

I spilled some grape-flavored Capri Sun on my desk/table. Now my homework will have a purple stain on it.

Whatever, desk/table. I'm tired.

3 comments:

  1. Wow back to school! It probably seems horrible now, but in about 10 years you'll look back and think that they were good times.

    Student ID's are supposed to look terrible. Really! I purposely lost one once, because they didn't do a photo for the replacement. That was a LONG time ago though.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MY ID PHOTO IS AWESOME! I showed you. Remember?

    ~adriana

    ReplyDelete
  3. I still have my husbands student ID photo. He looks snockered (hmm, I wonder...) and I think it's hilarious!

    We've been married 18 years so maybe I should let it go?

    ReplyDelete