Nice and Slow

I still get emails from UT and UHD. I dropped out of UT in October and I withdrew from UHD in January, yet still, they persist. Every other day it's a "UT LONGHORN FOOTBALL 2010" this or "New Technical Writer Position in Houston" that. Once a week I get an email from the Society of Hispanic Professional Engineers. SHPE. It's pronounced "shippy" and they call each other "shippies." It's always stuff like "Fajita Fundraiser!" or "Tutor Underprivileged Children." It's annoying. Like getting mail for the person that used to live in your apartment.

"Oh, engineer Alfonso doesn't live here anymore. He moved out and committed seppuku back in November."

Little ghost birds fluttering into my inbox to remind me of things that could've been. If I had stayed at UT, I could be eating fajitas with the shippies and Bevo right now.

Not that I regret my decision. This is the right choice, even though I'm getting a little frustrated after only being here a month. Things are moving at a glacial pace. I auditioned for a few sketch shows, but the auditions are set up in a weird way. You get to perform maybe two to three scenes and then you do a cold reading to show off your acting chops. That doesn't seem like the best way to gauge a performer's skills/talents, especially if you get stuck in a scene with a shitty improvisor.

Oh, sure, you think that if you're a GOOD improvisor then you'll manage to make the scene work, even when stuck with someone terrible. It doesn't always work like that though. If you start a scene saying "Oh, honey, open your purse and put these bananas in there," and they respond with "I'm not your wife and we're in space! THERE ARE NO BANANAS IN SPACE AHHHHH," it's difficult to make the scene compelling.

And then there's the issue of experience. Directors tend to prefer people who have had lots of experience, but it's hard to gain experience if you can't get cast in any shows. Chicken-egg situation. Catch 22. Birds and the bees, kids. Can't get a job unless you've already had one.

I guess your best bet is to just try to stand out and be as loud as you possibly can. Just like in life. I'm learning all sorts of life lessons here in Chi-town.

Classes are picking up though. We're no longer doing games and beginner scenes anymore. Yesterday, at the Annoyance, we went through "The Gauntlet." You do nine consecutive scenes, but you have to do each scene as a completely different character. It was exhausting, but it resulted in me suddenly becoming an LAPD officer and acting like Michael Scott in his improv class.

Everything's picking up. I'm meeting people. Slowly, but surely. Slow and steady wins the race. The turtle and the hare taught us that. The turtle and the hair. That was a story in "The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales." Which was only the best book ever. It was my favorite book back in 4th grade. Post-modern children books. Breaking the fourth wall. Illustrations by the one and only Lane Smith (I had to wiki that because I couldn't remember the name).

There was also this story about an old Japanese woman who was eating some dumplings or rice balls and then one of them rolls off her plate and she's all like "WHAT" and so she chases it, but then she gets accosted by these weird monsters and I don't know how she does it, but she outsmarts them all. What was the title...

God Bless Google. All I had to do was search for 'childrens book where an old japanese lady drops a rice patty ball and chases it but then meets monsters dumpling' and it was the first result.



ALSO, I got a rejection e-mail today from a Q&A writing company. That's good news! Before, I wouldn't get any form of response. If the company is taking the time to write a rejection letter (even a generic one), then it means things are picking up. Now it's only a matter of time before I find a job.

My writing is definitely improving. I'm writing consistently funny sketches now. They might not be the most intellectually stimulating sketches, but at least they're funny. And my regular writing is getting better. I'd like to write personal essays and stuff like that, but I don't know how to begin. When I write, I tend to go all over the place. It's hard for me to stay focused. If writing styles were Resident Evil 4 weapons, I'd be the Striker shotgun. Powerful, but I just shoot everywhere. I need to be more like the automatic rifle with the scope attachment. Powerful, but in the sense that instead of shooting towards the torso and spraying Los Ganados with pellets, I can make their heads explode with a single shot. Get what I'm saying?

That might be a lame analogy, but I like Resident Evil 4. So hush child. Hush.

Things are moving at a glacial pace, but at least they're moving. Things are picking up. Slowly, but surely.