Icicle/Bicycle

Snow is pretty. All kinds of snow. The big, soft flakes that float to the ground. The little pebbles that pepper the hood of your car. The sideways snow that makes it feel as if you're in a snow globe that someone's shaking violently. All of it. It's beautiful. Maybe it's because I haven't grown up with snow, but sometimes I'll just look out of the window and think "Damn, snow. You pretty."

What's not pretty is two-day old snow. Or three-day old snow. Or yellow snow. Or brown snow. Or any colored snow other than white. Slush. That's what it's called, right? When snow mixes with dirt and grime and creates this weird 7-11 Slurpee concoction that makes walking anywhere miserable. It takes me twice as long to walk a block when the sidewalks are covered with slush.

It's even worse when bicycling. I love snow. I love biking. I hate snow biking. The first time I tried it, I didn't have fenders. That 7-11 mud/snow Slurpee ended up all over my face. That wasn't fun.

I'm lucky that I have thick tires (thick tires for a thick man). It makes it so much easier to get through that slush than if I had road tires. I see dudes riding their roadies in the snow and suddenly just slip and fall. I saw one guy riding so carefully (so as to not slip) that an elderly jogger passed him by.

I recently biked in subzero temperatures. That was fun. The first few minutes were terrifying because you realize that if you're out there without any protection, you could get frostbite in like twenty minutes and then you'll have to chop off your toes and then those little piggies won't go to the market no mo'.

"Take the train, it's safer," people say. "Don't be stupid," says Delma. "It's too cold."

Maybe. I don't listen. Not because I don't think they're right. It is too cold, I am stupid and the train is definitely safer, at least in terms of warmth. But it's exhilarating, man. I don't have many exceptionally athletic abilities. Can't run a marathon. Can't run a 4.3 40. Can't bench more than 200 pounds. No where close to a six-pack. I can't even dunk, y'all.

But what I can do is push myself further and further so that a 6-mile bike ride in 5 degree weather ain't no thang but a chicken wang. Well, rooster wang. Sure, a big part of it is the equipment. When you're wearing so many layers, it kinda seems like cheating, but I like to still think that I'm toughening myself up. I see very few cyclists out on the road with me this time of year. Every time I pass by one, we nod at each other. They understand.

With the snow, it now takes me nearly twice as long to get to school as it would on the el. There were certain portions of Lake Front Trail that were so covered in snow that I had to dismount my bike and trudge through a foot of snow for a few minutes. But it's fine. It's fun. It's a challenge. And if you're not pushing yourself, you're not getting any better, right?

Complacency is the enemy, y'all. Rise up. Fight against. We all deserve to be happy, but we have to push ourselves to get there. Real talk.