My Foot is Peeling

My foot is peeling. Like, the skin is falling off. It's like I dipped my foot in Elmer's glue and let it bake in the sun for seven hours. A new foot is emerging from the chrysalis that was my old foot. From dead skin cells rises the phoenix foot, ready to take on any soccer balls thrown its way.

My foot is peeling. I was stung by a jellyfish off the coast of the Yucatan peninsula a few weeks ago. Or at least I think it was a jellyfish. It might have been fire coral or some mean ass barnacles. I was snorkeling and I got real close to a dock and there was some sea life growing on it and I touched it with my hand and felt this burning sensation, but then a wave pushed me towards the dock and I had to push off with my right foot and so I got stung super bad by whatever it was.

My foot is peeling. It's peeling now, but it was super swollen a couple weeks ago. The day after I got stung, it doubled in size and wouldn't fit in my New Balance shoe. Also, it hurt to walk anywhere. The last day of vacation I was hobbling around like a… Hobbit. That doesn't make sense, but the words are similar so SHUT IT.

My foot is peeling. I don't know why I'm starting every paragraph with that sentence. I think partly it's because I'm amazed that my foot is peeling. But also because I thought it'd be a cool exercise. I think it's more annoying than anything else at this point though, so I'll stop.

I first noticed it last week when I was on the Metra. I was changing socks on the train (yes, I'm that guy) because I had biked to the Metra stop and was going to an interview and needed to change when I saw that my skin was kinda just… Falling off. It's always fascinating cus your body's like "That skin don't work no mo'? I'LL JUST MAKE MORE."

The interview went well, thanks for asking! You're so sweet. Actually, I don't know how well it went since I haven't heard back yet. I have another interview next week and I'm kinda freakin' because interviews are always intimidating. Hell, the whole job search process is intimidating. It's like trying to woo a beautiful girl and so you text her something like "Hey, there's this cool movie showing this weekend," putting the ball in her court and she just responds with "HEY!!!! Thanks!!!!" six hours later and so you don't know what to respond so you just send a smiley face emoticon and then she takes another six hours to respond, but she just responds with that emoticon with its tongue sticking out. Give me a definite answer! Don't leave me hanging, man.

I actually don't know if this interview is for a job or an internship. Actually, it might not even be an interview! They just asked if I could come in to the office. I don't even know what time I'm supposed to go in, but I'm scared of emailing and asking because a) it's the weekend and they probably won't respond and b) I don't want to come off as a creep.

That's the thing about job searching and girl dating. You want to show interest, but you don't want to come off as a creeper. Though you know I be totally creeping, checkin' out their LinkedIn/Facebook pages and shiiiiiiiii. Y'all know what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Everything's coming up Millhouse, guys. I need to keep moving forward and striving and hustling. Not get too cocky or complacent. I'm a perpetual motion machine. Reaching for multiple goals (getting paid to be funny still being one of the main ones).

It's a beautiful Sunday morning so I'm going to take my dog for a nice, long walk. It'll help keep my mind off this whole stressful job hunt thing. And my peeling foot. Peace out, playas.