English Is My Second Language

I spent five minutes trying to figure out how to capitalize that title. Should the 'is' and 'my' be lowercase? Proper nouns are capitalized, but 'language' is not proper and 'second' is not a noun. I usually go with the Associated Press style, but I AM in Chicago so I should probably go with the Chicago Manual of Style, right?

I settled on capitalizing every word, but I don't like it. I'm not happy about it. You could say that I am unhappy about it. It reminds me of a friend I had in high school who would capitalize the first letter of every word, no matter the situation.

"Hey Man Want To Go To The Mall Later?"
"What Was The Homework Mrs. Tucker Gave Us For Biology?"
"Can I Come Over At $:30?"

It's like he had one finger glued to the 'shift' key.

English is my second language, though I speak it far better than my first language. I grew up speaking only Spanish until I was five. Once I learned English, I dropped la pelota on my first lengua and my communication skills have suffered. It's particularly a problem when I try to converse with Delma's family.

I'm ok when I speak Spanish with my family, but when I speak to Delma's parents or her aunts or her uncles or her cousins or her grandmother, I get flustered. And when I get flustered, the little Spanish that I know gets flustered. I go from having the vocabulary of an articulate fourth-grader to talking like I am a struggling second-grader. Here's a sample conversation between me and Delma's dad.

Open on shot of Alf, Delma and Delma's dad sitting at a Starbucks. Delma's dad is drinking a small, black coffee. Delma is drinking a small, black coffee. Alf is drinking a Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappucino.

DELMA'S DAD: (in Spanish) The drive was fine. I had a slight scare from a semi on 55, but thankfully nothing happened.
DELMA: (in Spanish) I'm glad you're ok. I'm sorry for making you drive all the way up here.
ALF: (in Spanish) This drink is... good.
DELMA'S DAD: (in Spanish) How are you liking your new job?
ALF: (in Spanish) It is... good. I like to write. It is fun. (awkward pause) Yesterday, I write about...
Alf turns to Delma.
ALF: (in English) How do you say 'taxidermist?'

End scene.

Her family is super nice and understanding, but it's embarrassing. Even when I speak Spanish at work, I have to repeatedly pause while I try to recall how to say something or ask what certain words mean. I feel like an idiot.

You know what also makes me feel like an idiot?

Yoga.

I like doing yoga. I want to do more yoga. I NEED to do more yoga because I have protracted shoulders and I'm about as flexible as a cactus. But every time I go into the yoga studio at my gym, I feel like I can't reach certain positions or I reach positions, but don't feel like I'm actually doing anything so I must be doing the position wrong or this one time I was struggling to do the chaturanga pose and let out a fart that went "TOOT" during the exact moment the yoga instructor decided to stop telling us to breathe.

Makes me feel like a big, fat inflexible idiot.

Namaste, my friends.

Or as we say in Spanish, namasté.