A New Record

YOU GUYS.

I'm on a tight leash, so I I'm going to make this quick.

I've reached a new height with this post, y'all. When I hit that orange Publish button in the top right corner, I'll have written seventeen posts this year. That's, like, almost old enough to smoke. Also, a magazine.

The most posts I've done in a year was sixteen in 2009, although I think I had 30-something posts in 2002 when I first discovered online blogs and wanted everyone on the internet to know how tough Geometry was. I was so obtuse.

I would also end every blog post with deep, meaningful lyrics. I'd do a similar thing with my AIM away messages. And I'd spend twenty minutes on selecting the perfect Myspace song to match my mood. "Oh, it's raining? How about a little Radiohead Creep action?"

I'm also undefeated in one of my fantasy football leagues this year. Granted, I'm completely defeated in another league I'm in, but I auto drafted in that league so I tell myself it doesn't count. I'd like to say that this was the result of deep thought and much planning and selecting well in the draft and paying attention to waivers, but it's more about that fact that I selected LeSean McCoy out of dumb luck (Arian Foster was already taken).

I also made a new friend. He's a squirrel and I see him scamper by on the telephone wire every morning while I have my coffee. Well, we're not really friends per se. Maybe more of an acquaintance. But we'll be friends soon. I know it. You can't scamper by on somebody's telephone wire everyone morning without getting real close. If you know what I mean.

But enough about me. How are you? Kids ok? Football team winning? That thing you were worried about turn out ok? Check that mole yet? Cool? Cool.

Back to me. I bought a Wii U.

Back to you. Want to come over and play?

Back to me. I've started eating more greek yogurt.

Back to you. Ever tried it?

Back to me. My bike needs to be fixed.

Back to you AND me. Ever wonder if I'm more style than substance?

Does the humor from these posts come more from the content or the devices I use to present said content? What about images? Funny images are funny.

I tell myself that these blog posts are steps in the right direction. That any writing is good practice. But what if it's like going to the gym and only doing curls with 10-lb weights? Also, what if my end goal is massive quads? Those curls ain't doin' nothin', man.

I don't really edit. Because it's hard. But I know I should. It's like I'm doing a lot of sprinting, but no endurance training. Which is cool. But I don't want to be that guy with massive writing pecs and tiny writing legs, you know?

I should hold off on posting this a day or two. I should go back and edit things that don't make sense and make some things funnier. Maybe find a better funny image that is funny.

But I'm too excited about reaching seventeen posts. I'll write other stuff and edit it later.

Peace out, yo.

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the "No"'s on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark