Making the Bacon

I should be writing more. A lot more. I feel like I should be writing at LEAST a 500-word essay every day. Maybe 200-word essays. It's not like I'm busy or anything. I don't really do much. Last week, I spent a whole day watching Arrested Development on Hulu. I kid you not. I woke up at 11:42 AM, made myself a peanut-butter and banana sandwich, watched most of Season 2 from 12:03 PM to 4:57 PM, ate a bowl of Raisin Bran Crunch, scratched my crotch at 6:37 PM, watched a few more episodes until 9:29 PM, ate some Eggos with Nutella, and then passed out around 2:45 AM during the episode in which Buster gets his hand bitten off by a seal. I think I might've dozed off right before he lost his hand. I'm not entirely sure. But that's not the point.

The point is my creative juices should be flowing freely. I should be a brewery of creative ideas. Zapata's Idea Lager. Alf's Creative-ale. (I don't know. I'm not very creative at the moment.) I was supposed to study and work-out this summer, but I'm not really doing either of those.

And I'm not sorry. Suck it, America. I'll write when I want whether you like it or not, Tits McGee!

Actually, I'm a little sorry... I do like writing. And it (logically) follows that, if I have a lot of free time, some of it should (logically) be devoted to writing instead of watching Trevor Ariza videos on youtube. But I think it's partly the fact that nothing interesting happens during the summer. During the school-year, interesting stuff happens all the time which (logically) propels me to write a lot which (logically) causes me to get behind in my studies. True (logical) story.

Also, I'm sorry for calling you Tits McGee. I didn't mean it.

I'm in Mexico now. I've been in Mexico for about three days now. This is my third trip to Mexico this year and I'll probably be back again in two weeks. It's lovely. There's a kid in the swimming pool, floating on a giant crocodile. He's having so much fun. I bet he wouldn't have so much fun if it were a real crocodile...

I made a sand castle yesterday. Sort of. When I realized that it wasn't look very much like a castle, I decided to call it a sand pyramid instead. Then I realized it wasn't looking very pyramidy either. So I guess I made a sand blob. But it was a very big sand blob! You'd be impressed with its size. Then my sisters buried me under the sand and gave me a nice pair of B cup sand boobies. Complete with sand nipples.

For the past three days, Kayla has eaten a not-so-hearty breakfast consisting of 10 slices of bacon and 3 bean and cheese tostadas. I asked her if she wanted some Raisin Bran Crunch and she said "No." I asked if she wanted a ham/cheese omelette. She said "No." I asked her why she was eating mainly bacon every day for breakfast. "Because it tastes good." Which makes sense. But it's not very healthy. Though I remember when I was five, I only wanted to eat at McDonald's everyday. If you had given me a 4 piece Chicken McNugget Happy Meal, I'd have given you at least 20-minutes of silence while I devoured my meal. 25 minutes if I liked the toy. At least. And Kayla's the same way. If we try to force her to eat fruit, she gets all complicated and squirms in her seat and just kinda cuts the honeydew melon into little pieces and secretly tosses them to the floor when we're not looking. But if we give her some bacon, she'll lick the grease off of each slice, then munch it happily like a little beaver. She's going to be a fat kid.

When we arrived on Saturday, I was trying to get my suitcase off of the baggage carousel, but it was stuck or something. I don't know. Seriously! I couldn't pull it off the carousel! Some old man tried to help and I was really embarrassed that I had to have a 70 year-old guy help me lift a 49.5 lb suitcase so I just said "Oh, it's not mine!" and waited for it to come around again.

This is now a 720-word essay. That's almost 50% more than the 500-word essay I promised. This should make up for the past month or so in which I haven't updated. I think that's enough for one day.