CUS I BE DANCIN'!

Oh, man. This coffee is terrible. My stomach agrees. It just made a loud BRAAAAAP sound. That means it's angry. A BRRROWWWWWRRRR means it's happy. A gurgle means it's hungry or gassy. But right now I'm getting a lot of BRAAAAAPs mixed with a few non-hungry gurgles.

I made the coffee myself. From scratch! No, that's a lie. I bought this 8 O'Clock ground coffee and put it in my Mr. Coffee and VIOLA! I've always wondered why more kitchen appliances weren't named after the foods they make. My blender could be Mr. Smoothie. The toaster would be Mr. Waffles. And my George Foreman Grill would be Mr. Burger-Quesadilla-Chicken.

I've started making my own coffee instead of going out and buying expensive mochas at expensive coffee shops because I'm not Mr. Money. I miss the atmosphere though. Coffee shops have this ambiance about them that immediately makes my gears turn. I can write more in one hour at a coffee shop than in a whole afternoon in my apartment. Maybe because coffee shops charge for wireless internet so I don't spend most of my time stalking people on Facebook. But, like I said, I ain't no Mr. Money.

I've tried recreating that coffee shop environment by listening to the Shins on Pandora and making my own mochas by mixing my coffee with Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate syrup, but it's just not the same. There's no weird bearded guy in the corner, pretending to read a George Orwell book, but secretly checking out all of the chicks. 1984, my ass, weird bearded guy. I know your tricks.

Whatever. I'll make do with what I have.

I saw the video for Rhianna's "Rude Boy" today at the gym. I really dislike that song (probably because I isn't big enough), but that video is so ridiculous! I don't know what's going on! There's this one shot where she's riding a lion. And then another with some random guy doing the C-walk. And then this other part where she's on top of an afro-zebra and then the camera zooms in on her zebra boobs. I have absolutely no clue what's happening in the video, but it's so colorful. I still don't like that song though.

Unfortunately, they play that song about ten times an hour on Chicago's 96.3 FM. It's a top 40 station that plays the same five songs over and over. They also have something called the "NOON KABOOM" which sounds dangerous. I can guarantee you that if I turn on the radio right now, I'll hear either:

The Justin Beiber "Baby" song with Ludacris
Rhianna's "Rude Boy"
That song where they say "Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make yo' bedrock!"
A Black Eyed Peas song
Lady Gaga feat. Beyoncé - "Telephone"
or
commercials

I've gotta admit, though, I kinda like most of those songs. Especially "Telephone." I downloaded "Telephone" off of iTunes about two weeks ago and it's been my workout song ever since. I am still not tired of it. Something about Beyoncé shouting "CUS I BE DANCIN'!" five times in a row just really pumps me up. I'm listening to it right now, actually. If there were some way to continuously loop that "CUS I BE DANCIN'!" part, I'm pretty sure I'd be so pumped that I could kick through a Honda Civic like E. Honda in Super Street Fighter II Turbo's bonus round.



I also really like that "Bedrock" song. More classic Hanna-Barbara cartoons should find their way into rap songs.

I was trying to think of clever lyrics based off of old cartoons, but the only one I could think of had to do with Yogi Bear swiping picnic baskets. Oh, wells.